A month ago today, I was selected as one of the top 40 under 40 black professionals in South Florida by Legacy Magazine. This was a big deal. The feature would in fact be an insert inside The Miami Herald, a paper I had written a zillion stories for during my seven-year stint there as a reporter.
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| Moi, in the bottom right-hand corner. I took this photo two years ago, a few months before my wedding. |
The photoshoot went well. The insert hit the newstands and I went running to the nearest 711 to grab a million copies.
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| Yep, that's me in the red jacket. |
Then I saw my photo and my heart dropped. Who was that pudgy chick?
OMG, why hadn't the photographer photoshoped me back to my skinny self of yesterday.
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| Said skinny self of yesterday. I shot this photo at The Miami Herald in 2008 when I was a guest blogger for a month. |
Tears came. Silly, I know, but they did. The clerk gave me a look of concern. I assured her I was fine but that I had decided to purchase only two of the 10 copies I'd initially snapped up.
To be clear, this was an honor of insane proportions and I was indeed humbled to share it with so many amazing professionals who are at the top of their game. So why did I let my weight gain ruin this incredible moment? That's a good question and one I'm still working through.
And before I get an avalanche of emails saying, "Britch, what is your problem? There are people out there with major weight issues and your not-so-fat-ass should just shut the hell up,'' let me just say that this is my journey, and one I choose to share in this forum.
Everyone has their own comfort zone and as someone who enjoyed running and going to the gym on a daily basis, I'm not comfortable with the new physical me. Yes, a huge chunk of this can be attriubuted to having a baby last year (love him!), but truthfully, I was inching up in the weight gain department well before I got pregnant. I'd just gotten comfortable. It didn't help that I was one of those Jamaicans with 20 jobs, so squeezing in a workout had just become downright impossible for me.
So here's my plan: I'm not a fan of diets and the latest weight loss gimics so no Weight Watchers, Nutra Systems, Jenny Craig, Paleo, Atkins, South Beach diets (wait, aren't they the same diet just renamed?) or any of that stuff for me. I'm sure they work for others, but I simply don't have the patience to count points and scrutinize every morsel I eat. I kinda likes me a rib-eye and a nice glass of red wine on occassion. Okay, okay, maybe on a few occassions.
I've simply gone back to the basics: I go for a run whenever I have the time - and this has meant going at 5:30 a.m. or at 6:30 p.m. A huge thanks to the hubby who went running with me on week 1. It was just the support I needed. Thanks too to my dear friend Asanyah who suggested I come clean about this struggle on my blog. Afterall, blogging about only the pretty things in life is beyond superficial.
So as of now, I've stopped with the excuses and now just lace up my sneakers, select some kick-ass music on my I-Phone, and just gone for a run around my complex, and up and down the stairs outside my condo. I'm also eating smarter - three well proportioned meals and a constant stream of healthy snacks (thanks much to my colleague Sophia who keeps a healthy stash closeby). I also do not get on a scale on a weekly basis. I'll know when the weight starts to disappear once my clothes start getting a bit loose and once that bulging tummy starts to disappear - at least, I hope it does!
So that's my truth. Wish me luck. I'll keep ya'll posted on this crazy journey.
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A-Efendy - Thursday, August 23, 2012
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